Engagements > Ask The Chief Engagement Officer > More Proposal Questions
Ask the CEO (Chief Engagement Officer)
Past Questions and Answers
Dear Steve,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months now and he has asked me to marry him and to pick the Ring of my choice. Well, I know about the gold setting I want so my only question is...What is the BEST DIAMOND to buy?
- Esther D.
Steve's answer:
Esther, great question and there is no absolute answer here. I recommend you visit the store and compare diamonds that are in your desired price range. The folks at our store will be happy to show you the differences so you can make an informed decision. Each diamond looks a little different and you can then pick the one that is just right for you. If you like round shaped diamonds I would take a close look at the MSID diamond as it offers a bigger and brighter look for about the same price as a regular round diamond. Congratulations and good hunting!!! Best, Steve
Dear Steve,
What do I say to my girlfriend when I give her a promise ring?
- Jeremy M.
Steve's answer:
Hi Jeremy. Say exactly what you feel. Look her in the eye and tell her what's in your heart. Since this is a promise ring you may want to say something along the lines of "I am giving you this promise ring to..." That way she doesn't take it as an engagement ring. The key is to use your words and feelings and trust they will mean the world to her. Best, Steve
Dear Steve,
Hello. I am going to be proposing to my girlfriend of 4 years during the first week of April in Florida. I would like to know if I should be asking both her parents for their blessing or just her father. I always thought that you ask the father only, but after reading online, I see a lot of guys ask both the mother and father. Please let me know what I should do, and how early I should ask them. Thank you.
- Adam B.
Steve's answer:
No hard and fast rules here Adam. Traditionally, asking the father was the custom but today I think it shows respect to ask both parents. If you are thinking April I would suggest you ask them fairly soon; not too early though because it may be hard for them to keep the secret. Congratulations and good luck! Steve
Dear Steve,
Is there a certain age limit to buy a ring? It's kind of funny but I'm buying an engagement ring as a gift.
- Trace Y.
Steve's answer:
Hi Trace. We have sold engagement rings to customers of all ages. There is no age limit when it comes to love and matters of the heart...
Steve
Dear Steve,
Why is it that a woman has two rings? What does that symbolize?
- Aaron M.
Steve's answer:
Hi Aaron. One is for the engagement and the other is the wedding. That said, a single ring can represent both if desired. Steve
Dear Steve,
Well, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year now and I am pregnant. I was hoping we would get married so that we could be a real family. We went looking for an engagement ring and I found one that I really liked. We didn’t purchase it on that day but he promised I would get it for Christmas and I DIDN'T. I was crushed. I always ask him about it but I get an "I don’t want to talk about it right now" response. But then he tells his family that he really wants to marry me. What should I do?
- Bre T.
Steve's answer:
If you were my daughter and asked me this question, I would recommend that she sit down with her boyfriend for an open and candid conversation. One such as "I need to know where you stand?" no-nonsense conversation. This is far more important than the ring. It is really about how much you can depend on him as partner, father, etc. Already it seems to me that his behavior and his words are out of sync. I would ask him this without judgment too. It is always a concern when words/promises don’t match actions. Often people hang on to the words and are left hurt and disappointed when the actions don’t follow. That said, maybe he is scared, short of funds, or even has plans to surprise you. It really is impossible to know and give you a responsible answer from one email. In the end, direct communication and an objective look at what he says and then does seems like the best bet to me.
Good luck,
Steve
Dear Steve,
I am planning to propose towards the end of the year sometime. We are possibly heading out to Hawaii (Maui) for a vacation with some family. I was thinking about setting something up on the beach at sunset (table with candles, flowers, rose petals, etc.). Do you have any other suggestions or any ways to spruce my idea up since we will be in Hawaii? Or should I stick to something sports related since we are huge Dodgers & Lakers fans?
- Hector C. Jr.
Steve's answer:
Wow Hector this one is wide open. For my wife's 40th birthday we did the sunset dinner thing. They can pick you up in a canoe at dusk and take you to a grassy knoll over the ocean with a chef to create a romantic dinner. You can even have a guitarist on hand along with all the other elements you mentioned. This idea is wonderful and memorable yet fairly pricey. A more cost-effective plan is to do this yourself without the extra expenses. Once you invest in airfare etc., all you need is the natural beauty and Mother Nature. (I did this on our honeymoon in Maui... McKenna and Paia are great places to consider.) You could also propose closer to home in Laguna Beach or even in Central Cal and make a weekend of it with some wine-tasting. One idea is to find less frequented beaches (best in winter months), make a cozy little fire (if it is legal), and put a bottle of champagne in the shallow water. A little hibachi can go a long way, LOTS OF CANDLES! YAHOO!
On the other hand, she would have to love the Lakers/Dodgers proposal. The excitement of a proposal at a sporting event is unforgettable. (If it's Lakers better wait for Bynum to heal so you start off the engagement on a winning note!) She is a lucky lady... Enjoy!
Dear Steve,
My boyfriend has told me this is the year we will be getting engaged. Instead of going with me to look at rings, he wants to send me with one of my girlfriends so that she can take notes to "hand off" to him so there's an added level of surprise for me. I'm not one of those girls who's known what she's always wanted. I'm not even sure where to begin. Would coming in and trying on rings be the way to start?
- Maryann W.
Steve's answer:
First of all congratulations for being in love. The good news is you have already begun...the most important part is a done deal, YOU FOUND THE RIGHT GUY! It sounds like your boyfriend wants you to have the ring of your dreams and he sees the importance of creating a special moment to surprise you (sounds like a keeper to me). Coming in and trying on rings is exactly the right thing to do. Just a few things I recommend in the process: 1) Take as much time as you want and need, and if you want to make a few trips you can do that too. 2) Enjoy this precious time and every step leading you to a new life with the person you love, selecting your ring will be a special memory you will always have. 3) Be sure to complete your very own personalized Wish List at the store. 4) Don't be afraid to ask questions, there are no dumb questions. With that said, we carry so many combinations of diamond ring styles that one could get overwhelmed; on the other hand you will be surprised at your instinctive ability to know what you like and our staff is well-equipped to assist you with identifying the ring of your dreams, even if you currently have no clue as to what it looks like. Again congrats... Best Steve
Dear Steve,
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now. We recently welcomed a beautiful little bundle of Joy into our lives and have never felt stronger or happier. I know I want to spend my life with her, I know I want to continue our Family, but every time I consider popping the question I get all weak. My heart gets all fluttery and I can't think straight. I know Christmas is coming up and I've seen the commercials where the guy proposes, (t.v. life being separate from real life of course), I thought it might be a good idea. A kind of combination present, along with the other things I'm getting her. Am I off base here? Am I being cheap?
- James B.
Steve's answer:
My guess is the one thing she would want most to hear in all the world is that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. She probably feels this way now more than ever. To get on one knee and ask her to marry you, and then have her wear an engagement ring that allows her to declare this to the people that matter most in her life will be something she remembers forever. It could very well be all the gift she will want or need. That said after being happily married for 28 years myself (the other gifts couldn't hurt).
Congratulations and all the best.
Steve (PS... We help you with how to propose and even make the arrangements for you. I promise we can help with those flutters.)
Dear Steve,
My boyfriend is overseas in Iraq and I want to give him a ring, just as a Christmas present, however he won't receive it until April when he comes home for rest and I can give it to him. How should I present it to him? What kind of ring should I get? Or should I give him a bracelet or something else like a watch etc.?
- Emilie D.
Steve's answer:
Emilie, here is the good news, for him to be there and know you are here loving him is what really matters. There are no absolutes on what is the exact right thing to present to him that conveys what you feel. I think if you go into the right store, hook up with someone you can open up to and share your story with, after a little store tour and some recommendations, just the right thing will jump out at you and you will instinctively know it. There are no rules and only one important theme here, which is to celebrate his courage and safe return. There are so many different ring designs and other options. As far as how to present to him, I recommend you think about how to create a memory he can take back with him; one that touches his heart and makes him smile. It should be something that will have significance to the two of you, maybe where you met, where you shared a special moment, his favorite place etc... The ring, if that is what you choose, can carry any message you designate, and you can explain to him just what it means and represents (you can even have a message engraved inside).
Best Steve
Dear Steve,
Is it tacky to tell my boyfriend the kind of ring I want? Or should I just let him pick it for me? And if you think it's ok to tell him the specifics (platinum, round diamond), can you give me any advice as to how to do it? I know he's thinking about marriage, but I don't want to push the issue...
- Fernanda G.
Steve's answer:
Hi Fernanda, this is a very good question that many people ask. My guess is that he wants to find out what will make you happy and that he would rather know than guess. That said he probably wants to surprise you and doesn't want to give it away. (Please note I am only guessing here and you will need to rely on your instincts and what you know of him and his intentions.) Three alternatives that come to mind: 1) Let it come to you and as painful as it might seem, just let nature take its course, no risk of pushing him, but no ability to weigh in for sure either. 2) You take a more direct approach, waiting for the moment it feels okay, then let him know that if and when he is thinking about proposing, you have some basic suggestions that may make it easier if he would like any input. This approach is a good one for some and not others, not one size fits all. 3) You begin to drop some hints, "I have always loved Platinum" etc... Walk by store windows, point out things in magazines etc. He will understand what you are doing and will either appreciate the direction given to him or feel pressure. Every relationship is different so please rely on the signals you get from him and what you are feeling to guide you. Good luck!
Steve
Dear Steve,
I have been dating my girlfriend for almost two years and we are going to celebrate our two-year anniversary next month by going to Catalina for the weekend. I figured that would be a romantic spot to "pop the question." What do you think about that?
- Darren B.
Steve's answer:
I think you are spot on and that's a great idea. Consider renting a small boat, with a picnic lunch, and wine near sunset (assuming conditions are right). Just take your time and enjoy creating a lifetime memory, or even try a horseback ride to a special predetermined spot. The bottom line is there are so many romantic and beautiful spots in Catalina so you can't go wrong. Good luck!
Dear Steve,
My boyfriend has had an engagement ring for me for quite some time now, but says he cannot find just the right time to give it to me. Any suggestions to help him pop the question.
- Michelle P.
Steve's answer:
My general advice is let it come to you. If he wants to hear what is important to you relating to the proposal, by all means tell him. Otherwise I recommend just letting nature take its course. Often guys feel lots of pressure to get this right. My hope and guess is in the end he will. Congratulations on being in love!
Dear Steve,
I am planning to propose to my girlfriend in an Italian restaurant. When do you think is the right moment to pop the question and how should I do it?
- John H.
Steve's answer:
Hi John: First answer is to think about her and create an idea that represents her interests specifically and the love you two have for each other. Here are a couple of options depending on her personality and your relationship…
If she likes intimacy and romance:
I recommend taking a small corner seat, have rose petals adorning the table and with candle light let her know what she means to you, how she has changed your life and share the dreams you have for your future together. When the timing is right, the classic down-on-one-knee or simply taking her hand in yours and then asking her to marry you has served many people well. The key here is speaking from the heart and looking into her eyes… maybe a good kicker would be hiring a musician or trio… consider violin, flute, mandolin, or classic guitar for romance. At Robbins Bros. we can make all the arrangements for you as well as provide you with a ring box that shines a light on the ring from inside the box, which looksespecially beautiful when the lights are low.
If she loves the limelight and enjoys humor:
Then a thought would be to see if the restaurant staff and chef would be willing to serve the ring on a silver platter. With the restaurant’s okay, hire a high school marching band to come in with cheerleaders, batons and a banner that says “Will you marry me?” Or even consider a single opera singer… (fun, off the wall and memorable if she is wired that way). Family and friends could also be invited to participate.
Dear Steve,
I don't have a lot of money and am currently buying a ring to propose to my girlfriend. Do you have any ring-buying ideas that are inexpensive? Thanks.
- Jeremy B., Frisco, TX
Steve's answer:
Hi Jeremy: Absolutely doable. The issue isn’t how much you spend but what the ring represents. There are some beautiful designs available at almost any price point ranging from simple styles with a single diamond and yellow or white gold band, to fancy designs that have more than one diamond in any style imaginable. You may even prefer a plain band with no diamonds which is just as special. If you are planning to visit a Robbins Bros store ask to see the U-Two collection. You can also finance the purchase or utilize layaway which makes things easier. Whatever store you go into, do not be embarrassed by your budget. This is your moment and you deserve the same high level of attention and services no matter how much you are planning to spend.
